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Sabrina Matheny

Feng Shuiing My Son's Apartment


I drove down to Asheville recently to see my boys and to help one of them move into an apartment. I have enjoyed watching all of my boys fledge one by one into the world and into their own lives. The final step, getting their own places, has been particularly satisfying for me as I love designing spaces! I am lucky to be able to acutely feel when the energy of a room is off. It has taken me years to refine my 6th sense to locate and restore harmony to a dissonant environment.


This particular son had his own understanding of harmony in space, and after much arranging and rearranging our sympatico streak of working in his fiefdom ended. Youth met wisdom forcing our personalities to duke it out while our spirits struggled to maintain equilibrium.


He had a buffet he placed on a main wall and set up as a coffee bar. It was super cute and added to the ambiance. Unfortunately, the width of the room struggled to hold the couch, coffee table, two chairs, the buffet and leave adequate room for bodies to move around. I wanted to relocate the buffet and to put it simply: he did not. He felt comfortable with the buffet behind the couch.


Here in lies the stumbling block for many people when following their personal design scheme. They are in tune with their body in so far as how they want a space to feel, but they are often unaware of the negative impact their layout might have on their health. As a Feng Shui consultant, I have seen many a bed shoved against a wall so my client can feel safe and secure only for them to lament that they have no relationship prospects. Or a dining area placed in a thoroughfare, with clients suffering from digestive issues and not realizing that energetically they are eating in a warzone. This begs the question, what should one consider when arranging their space?


Two of the most important questions to ask yourself when configuring your space, are (1) how easily can your body move around with your arrangement, and (2) what is impacting your body at all times? When placing furniture in a room you want to be able to move around unencumbered. ANYWHERE you have to look down or shift your body in order to maneuver tight spaces carefully creates tension and begins to restrict the overall free flowing energy of your environment.  


Got a coffee table that has it out for your knees and toes? If moving around any furniture causes you to suddenly consider your size and shape then your energy goes on defense.


Have to crawl over another person just to get into or out of bed? Being frustrated constricts the energy in a bedroom where we are meant to experience tranquility. Our bedrooms are our sanctuaries set up for restoring the body each night. Aggravation hampers that process, so we wake up feeling exhausted instead of well rested.


Where goes sight so goes energy. If you can see down a long hallway, the front door, or have a view of something picturesque, then the energy in that space is moving in those directions as well. Windows and doors bring energy in and take energy out. When they align, they do it more forcibly. Hallways tunnel energy. There is typically no furniture for energy to navigate in a hallway, making it an ideal location for picking up speed. Anytime you are sitting across from or directly in the line of fire be prepared for your body to take the impact of that flow of energy.


Earlier in the week my son mentioned he had been feeling lethargic. I looked around his apartment at the flow of energy through my Feng Shui goggles. An arrangement that blocks or narrows a space slows the energy stream of a space until it stagnates. Spending time in these zones leads to fatigue and poor health. For me, the buffet played right into his energy downshift. He wanted the cozy feeling he felt with the buffet stabilizing the energy from behind. Large pieces of furniture often ground a space, so it is important to notice what is happening around those solid pieces before keeping them in situ. In his case, there was not adequate room for the buffet to be accessed as a coffee bar without bumping into the couch.

Note the before and after, I think we landed on something that works well and suits him.  We looked for other ways to create the yin energy he needed to create a calm atmosphere. We chose plants, lamps and one day when his budget permits, curtains to do the trick! Without the buffet he had the space for his energy to smooth its jagged edges and relax. His resolve and resilience, now with space to expand, can show him the best way to claim the potency he is meant to embody in his new world.


We have to accept that some of the places we choose to live do not readily accommodate all of our ideas. We must prioritize the ones that will make the biggest positive impact and save the others for a different home. Arrivederci barista bar! How we get to the right fit sometimes comes through the school of hard knocks which can be painful for a mama to witness. Luckily, I raised an independent, patient young man with a heart of gold. He understood (eventually) that she only wanted to help him create a healthy space, as well as a beautiful one.  


My takeaway? The days of “it will only take five minutes to move” and “because I said so” do not work for independent, patient young men with hearts of gold. In the future, I will need to remember that everyone benefits from the school of hard knocks.

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