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Self-Love + Power of Choice

Updated: Apr 2

As February comes to an end, our search for our soul mate and loving relationships can and should forge ahead.

True love is an energy that breaks through shielded hearts and big egos. It bares all, knowing vulnerability is a strength and the most viable path to connection. Emotional intimacy is tantamount to authentic love in healthy relationships. It is comprised of joining our spirits, thereby conceiving a love that generously flows between us. When we appreciate our own being and hold a positive self-image, we attract those to us that also see our worth.

How do we know if we are ready to test the waters of worthiness? Check in with your feelings as you interact with the world around you. Notice what you think about and if those thoughts draw you closer or distance you from those you want to love.

Freudenfreude… When we interact with other people, they are constantly responding to our vibrational countenance. If we are in fear mode (as in, “I’m afraid I’ll get hurt), we are operating from the third chakra and initiating a power struggle. Other people will either match our level of fear, (like attracts like) or they will portray themselves to be more powerful (dualistic thinking). When we are not holding a positive self-image, our self-esteem wanes, attracting people into our lives that strive to make us play small or bend to their will. This can exacerbate our fear, coercing us into handing our power over to them.

Energetically, their thinking is flawed in that putting down or intimidating the other fellow never makes us bigger or better. It disconnects us from the part of the mind that gives us access to our empathy, pushing us further from our own heart (authentic relating) and closer to our ego (power struggle). The heart embraces differences, the ego accentuates them. With the ego there will always be a winner and a loser.

There is simply no other way to beat the competition. The heart has no interest in competing. In the heart there is only a level playing field as it celebrates the wins and sympathizes with the losses, knowing that true connection grows the strongest human beings. Championing ourselves and those we love facilitates that connection by reinforcing that we are all on the same team. When we believe in ourselves, we can believe in others. And since like attract like (harping!) we attract more opportunities to love and celebrate one another.

Gird your loins….

Choosing how to direct your energy, be it carefully or casually, by happenstance or by design, will determine if your choices will create or sabotage your happiness in your life. Choice is your superpower. In every situation we have a choice. Abdicating your power is still making a choice. We will often create the perfect storm of challenges to fast track our soul’s desire to choose a more empowering position. Contrast brings clarity by learning what you do want through experiencing what you do not want.

We all desire good outcomes, but those of us that understand the law of attraction recognize that what we focus on will magnetize more of those experiences into our lives. So, the more I think about being lonely, the more I will attract situations in which my friends will be busy with their own lives, I won’t meet anyone I want to date, or perhaps all my available time will go towards work, family or health issues.

Facing challenges can make us weary, but they can also make us strong. When we take our attention away from trying to avoid risk, danger, or pain to maintain control of our lives, we can then place our attention on being resilient and capable. This mindset heals the old tapes of needing to protect ourselves from the hard times in life, vanquishing the illusion of being in control of our lives. We only get to control our thoughts and the actions we take based on those thoughts. Choosing the thoughts that keep our power with us, by honoring our needs in each circumstance, is the way towards loving ourselves. As we make space in our schedules, in our language, and with our actions, for what we want to live, we can attract the love we’ve waited our entire lives to experience.

Bring it on home…

I am working on creating an emotionally intimate relationship with the love of my life. As issues come up and disagreements happen, we stay the course. We stay true to the commitment to honor our individual selves and come together as two whole beings seeking greater understanding of who we are. As we deepen in that knowledge, we create more space in our hearts to embrace the fullness of one another.

As this month of love and romance wraps up, I want to remind you that there is love all around you. To find your way to it, you must first hold it in your own heart. Here are a few tips on how to do just that:

1. Focus on the good parts of your life, making lists of your wins that you can read when you are battling your losses.

2. Have compassion for yourself when you stumble as we all faulter from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, and when you accept that about yourself, you can have compassion for others when they make mistakes.

3. Choose the more empowering thought in each moment knowing that those moments will add up to

days, months and years. You are building up the energy to surmount huge obstacles just by finding your power with your small decisions in your daily life.

4. Surround yourself with friends and family that appreciate who you are. You no longer need to sing and dance to be accepted and loved by others. External validation is for rookies, and you are now a seasoned vet. (Yay you!)

5. Take a little time each morning following the personal transformational practice of mirror work created by the late Louise Hay, founder of Hay House and author of You Can Heal Your Life. Gaze into your mirror and say those three little words we all long to hear… I love you.

Go forth with confidence. May you grow into your promise to be the keeper of your mind and body and trust that you will be cherished and adored by those you choose to open your heart to.

  • selflove

  • choice

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