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How Those That Hurt Us Help Us Heal

Updated: Apr 2

Wounding one another is part of a process of healing. It sounds ludicrous I know, but it is one of the most powerful ways we humans have of getting our own attention.

When we are hurt by another, we open the guarded parts of our heart and mind and allow ourselves to feel the pain that we’ve carefully locked away until this very moment. It is in this moment that the universal forces have aligned, and we are now spiritually prepared to face and let go of that pain. The perceived perpetrator provides the trigger needed to enable us to find our power again. Everything is always in divine order. This means that what looks from a human perspective as being unjust, is from a spiritual perspective theform of contrast needed to instigate growth. You will not hear me utter the words easy or fair with these opportunities. I mean, when was the last time you made a major shift in your life when it was smooth sailing and required little or no effort on your part? Yeah, …I thought so.

When I was eleven years old I remember feeling like I didn’t fit in with the girls around me. This was the beginning of little Bri trying to understand her uniqueness. This was not because she thought of herself as better than others or even as an odd wad due to the awkwardness of her age, but namely because she found it hard to give up her individual wants and needs in order to belong to a group. Her inner being fought it tooth and nail while her outer being felt lost and alone. Fast forward to many other times from a young adult to a now middle-aged woman, she continues to meet others that demand she sacrifice her spirit as the price of admission to belonging to their group. Feeling rejected and hurt caused me to ask my team of guides for help in seeing these interactions from a higher perspective.

When I ask for guidance I am careful not to give away my power by asking what I should do. I tune in and send them a message telepathically as though I were having a conversation with a dear friend. This is called channeling and can also be used in a writing format. For a beginner, writing is a great way to connect with your team of guides. It gives you a body of work that can be used as proof of connection later on as the information they offer in response to your question pans out. After writing your question you pause and then write what you sense. I do this sometimes in writing my articles. I have practiced my connection to the point of being able to deliver the messages verbally during consultations as the information flows in for my clients. The answers for me come in blocks of information, in words, and sometimes in images. As you will see in the following dialogue, my team showed me the scene of a wagon moving on a circular dirt road to convey the meaning of the expression “circle the wagons.” Using images to express a thought saves time and energy and allows the information to flow in at a good clip. For me, when I speak or write the blocks of information, I sometimes have to reword things because I can feel in my body when I didn’t hit on their intended vibration. I might say during a consultation, “no, that’s not the right word.” The same happens when I write. I start with one idea and realize that I’ve missed the mark and try again. With blocks of info, I know in my being what needs to be understood, and I continue to revise until I feel that I’ve expressed their meaning adequately. All of this to say that should you try to do this for yourself, be on the lookout for this type of download. It’s quite powerful when you are in sync with their messages. (Their response is italicized so you can distinguish between us.)

How do I avoid feeling pain? It is because your goal is not to feel pain that you feel pain. Where your thoughts go is what you will experience. You are choosing to respond in this way. This is an opportunity to reclaim the power you gave away in all the times you needed others to change their behavior so you could feel better. Your need to feel better and have people behave a certain way keeps you in the very pain you are attempting to free yourself from. Choose instead to see this as an opportunity to stay connected to your own heart and allow them their journey. They are showing up in your experience in this way to allow you to heal this wounded part of your being. Be appreciative of the experience. They are your teachers.

Are you saying I am to let others mistreat me and do nothing? No, we are saying that as long as you see their treatment of you as unjust, your need to bring justice prevails. You can choose instead to know (enters the image of circle the wagons that I will spell out to show you what I sensed they were telling me) that what they say and do is about their need to circle the wagons in an effort to feel safe. Ask yourself why do they feel unsafe? Could it be because your actions triggered their wounds of abandonment, and this is their reaction that is now seeking healing? Are you not serving their spirit by providing them with the opportunity to let go of their wounds? Everything is in divine order.

So, what guidance can you offer me on fixing this with them? This is not about taking action to feel better or change anyone else. This about your finding ways to accept you. As you stay connected to your spirit by loving yourself despite what you see in the external world you move into the energy of acceptance. This is a powerful place where you can freely move knowing that there are many other spirits dwelling in this vibration, so your happiness does not depend soully (see the word play? They have a sense of humor!) on them.

Does this mean I will lose this relationship? You will lose the hold your fear of loss has over you and you will free yourself from all the ways this dynamic has controlled or limited your ability to love unconditionally. You will open yourself to all the other souls who can match your now more open and heightened vibration. Aloneness is not the goal of the spirit, oneness is.

But will this particular relationship end? In this form, it must, as you are no longer a match to the way you interacted before. Law of transmutation opens the energetic pathway for this relationship to take a new form. That will require the free will of both people choosing to elevate out of fear and into love. Both parties must desire and integrate the healing being offered. Your ability to do this for yourself means the energy now exists to help transmute the lower vibration of fear into the highest vibrational force of love. The other person or people can choose to stay in the limited consciousness, or they can choose to face their past wounds and expand their consciousness by taking back their power. We use the word limited stressing that it does not mean they are wrong, bad or less than. The vibration of limited means they are choosing to see their situation from a judgmental point of view. That is the energy of the physical third dimensional planet. The higher vibrational frequency of love would require moving their energy through their heart and expanding it into universal wisdom. This is the place of the oneness you are seeking.

Does this leave me all alone? It leaves you with the understanding that you are not responsible for anyone else’s journey. Only yours. As you chose to take your energy and flow it into the direction of your own heart, you will naturally resonate with the heightened vibration of oneness. So, you see dear one, you are never alone. You did not come to the earth to be alone. You came to understand that your ability to love others cannot be conditional because that would place conditions on your ability to love yourself. Love and accept others as they are for they are doing what they know to be true for their experience. Their soul will align them with as many opportunities to transform their limits as they need in order to find their power. You are simply one of those opportunities, and not the only one. The soul will not stop seeking oneness. The soul will always champion the path of love. Choose to honor your heart over someone else’s needs or expectations. You do not need to interfere with their development. By the power of your own example, you can be a way shower, and know that that is enough.

All wounding’s are meant to free us of the constraints we have placed on ourselves. The only way we will get to know where our limits are is to bump up against them and wrestle them to the ground. In the moment we want most to be right and win, we must remember we are setting ourselves up for a competition where there is a loser. So instead, we can choose to tap out.

Let us surrender our need to stay in judgement of someone else’s actions and focus instead on what we want to experience. We can be assured that should the relationship not be able to transform but instead permanently end, we will be opening up to new and different experiences that match our desires to heal. Each time we take a chance and open our heart and love the people in our lives we risk heartbreak. The breaks can be likened to stretch marks on the physical body. It is now bigger and more capable of holding light and love. I say on behalf of all of us that are eager to love with abandon: we are not afraid to face our shadows, we are not afraid to lose the love and approval of others, because we know that all struggles bring opportunities to heal. So go ahead… Bring! It! On!

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